Mad Mike Reviews TNA: Aces & Run-Ins

Greetings Mayhemmers,

This week’s episode of Impact doesn’t have much to live up to as Raw last week completely shit the bed, so let’s see how Corpus Part II shakes out!

Segment 1: Recap, Clubhouse segment, Match 1: Garetctct and Wes Vs. Angle

• Oh God….I forgot AJ is fighting this week, ugh
• What the fuck is Taz wearing?
• Oh Christ….they are calling Devon “Sarge”
• Jeez those stands look empty
• I’m not sure why but I love heel Taz in this match so far

Segment 2: Match cont, X-Division segment

• Before fast forwarding through the commercials, I’m going to guess that Aces a& Eights have control now and they won’t tell us how
• Well, glad to see I was wrong
• Wow they actually finally called Kurt “Captain America”
• Yeah the ref really shouldn’t have kicked Garrrettt’s hands off the ropes, that wasn’t illegal
• So is Anderson the Scott Hall of Aces & Eights? Does that make Devon the Horace Hogan?
• Oh great…Anderson’s vest says “Asshole”
• Petey…I’m pretty sure people know you always go for the Destroyer, given that’s the only thing that makes your segment interesting

Segment 3: Match 2: Shiima Vs. King Vs. Petey, Magnus segment

• Are they really just NOW advertising that ppv??
• Okay…so they showed how Petey got to this match, how did Shiima??
• Oh what the fresh hell is the X Cam???
• How long before they use that for Knockouts matches?
• Welp, Petey hit the Destroyer already so now we know he isn’t going to win
• I miss the Maple Leaf Muscle gimmick
• Wow…one asshole is trying to Fandango
• What does “eliminated from the X Division title picture” mean?
• ERMEGAWD Did TNA remember that’s not just a charm bracelet Devon is wearing?

Segment 4: Knockouts segment, Match 3: Devon vs. Magnus

• So….is Christy the webmaster of the Knockouts division??
• Brooke how have two people who haven’t been on TV in months “showing something”
• Ugh, why can’t this mean Magnus is going to get a TV Title?

Segment 5: Joe screaming, AJ segment, Velvet segment, Match 3: Hooters Vs. Mickie

• Joe….why didn’t you come out like 5 minutes earlier if it makes you this angry?
• AJ’s wife is an idiot
• There are so many audio clips I can capture here
• “Wherever your thumbs were pushing, that’s where it feels weird”

Segment 6: Match cont, Team Appletini segment, Devon segment

• So wait….ODB is the for reals Knockouts ref now? That’s so sad
• Wow they have not promoted a single thing for next week’s show
• Did he really just say “veteran instincts” referring to Hooters?
• That is way too much pelvic thrusting to be effective
• They actually said “three pump chump” is reference to Joey Ryan
• And I just realized that actually effectively works with my comment about Hooters’ pelvic thrusting
• That wasn’t a bad match, but man what a botchy roll up
• Only Kaz and Daniels can make a five year old Hangover joke work for me
• So is Joseph going to be feuding with Bully or Devon….I hope Abyss comes back to avenge his family business and somehow Joseph is feuding with Devon and Abyss feuds with Bully

Segment 7: Mickie segment, Storm’s segment, Team Appletini segment

• So is this Mickie’s heel turn?
• James Storm, you fucking idiot…you never actually let AJ talk, check the tape
• OMG I WOULD LOVE MORGAN FREEMAN AS DIXIE CARTER
• Chavo will henceforth officially be known as Churro from now on
• Yay! A great segment just got better! Team Super Heel!
• Can these four men just talk for two hours?
• IT’S A FRAT WAR YOU GUYS. THIS IS AMAZING.
• Gawd shut up Churro!

Segment 8: Aces & Eights segment, Morgan segment, Match 4: Joe Vs. Devon

• Um…..why are heels being all facey here?
• More importantly, if everyone feels this way, WHY DOESN’T THE WHOLE ROSTER COME OUT AND DESTROY THEIR MOTORCYCLES
• This is the same problem I always had with the nWo, WCW had the numbers advantage and never used it
• Hey Morgan, mistake number 1 “Aces OF Eights”
• Mistake 2, YOU CAN RESHOOT THIS TNA
• Hahahahaha Taz, I love you actually using logic
• Wow this really has been run-in mania tonight

Segment 9: Match 5: Storm Vs. EmoStyles

• James Storm is such an asshole
• Taz totally used logic to shut up Mike Tenay!
• However, Taz’s logic is also why I hope AJ just goes with Team Appletini and they all ride off into the sunset

Segment 10: Match cont., Aces & Eights segment

• So AJ just is doing his version of the Sting crow gimmick right?
• I do like this new style by AJ though
• Rolling deathlock! I like it AJ
• AJ NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
• Really cool visual of AJ walking away as Aces & Eights attack in the ring, nicely done cameraguy
• Hahaha Just Another Victim….nice

TNH8 Scale

Wrestling: 3.5 Laganas out of 5 Honestly would have been higher if there weren’t so many run-ins

Logic: 5 Laganas out of 5 simply for Taz’s commentary

Overall: 8.5 Laganas out of 10