Mad Mike Reviews TNA: Be A Bully.

Greetings Mayhemmers, since I’m the guy who watches TNA the most as the main hosts on this show, but we never seem to talk about it (mainly because it sucks) I decided to at least use my journalistic integrity and live blog about it each week. This will be written live as I watch Impact, so enjoy!

THIS IS THE ULTIMATUM: IF JEFF HARDY WINS THE TITLE AT BFG, I WILL STOP REVIEWING TNA UNLESS THE PRODUCT IS SUDDENLY AMAZING.

Segment 1: Recrap,Sting/Hogan segment, Match 1: Anderson Vs. Gunner, Tara segment

• I hate they phrase “who’s hungry” as it relates to wrestling, Ryback is the only answer
• Wow TNA’s switcher sucks, they had two shots of Sting there for a second
• Why would anyone who hasn’t had any interaction with Aces and Assholes want to fight them?
• Wow, you can dominate Kash and Gunner…whoopdedoo
• Nice to see that Victoria actually talked to Stacy and found out that they broke up months ago
• It’s kinda pathetic that Tara needs to name drop the name of former WWE Divas to make this character credible

Segment 2: Match 2: Tara and Gail Vs. Hooters andODB

• Christy Hemme pan-up count: 1
• I kinda want EY to be Tara’s “Hollywood boyfriend”
• Heel Tara just makes sense it’s a shame its really played out, because she and Gail are the only heels
• www.tnaonscreen.com totally is a broken website
• However this site http://www.screenvision.com/cinema-events/bound-for-glory/ works just fine
• Guess which one Mike Tenay told us to use? (psssssst the one that doesn’t work)

Segment 3: Joey Ryan Segment, Angle segment

• This has been the slowest fucking build ever
• “Apologement” nice Joey Ryan…
• So now all you have to do to get a contract is provoke Al Snow to hit you? Why even do Gut Check?
• Team Appletini eavesdropping was hilarious
• Bully is the only person that makes sense

Segment 4: Match 3: RVD Vs. Joe, Tag Team Segment

• Wow, how the fuck is Bound For Glory NOT SHOWING in any theaters in all of New York or Pennsylvania?? Uberfail
• Hemme pan-up count: 2
• Nice Rey mask in the front row
• Again MMA Uncensored Live proves it isn’t live if King Mo is going to be both on Impact and on that show
• Wow when was the last time Joe actually won with the Muscle Buster?
• “Nacho Libre” is now officially the new name for Hernandez and Chavo
• Shouldn’t Hernandez and Chavo be happy Angle wants out of that match?
• Chavo doesn’t even watch the product

Segment 5: Bully/Aries/Hardy segment, Match 4: Chavo Vs. Angle

• Wow, champion vs challenger for free a week and a half before the PPV….that’s smart
• Welcome to Smackdown folks!
• Yup another standard match these two

Segment 6: Match 5: Shiima Vs. Williams

• Wow quick squash, but I love that finisher for Shiima
• Nice to see someone who actively say they don’t want Aces and Assholes

Segment 7: D’Lo segment, Storm segment, Hogan segment

• Why are Brother Love, D’Lo, and Al such big parts of TV now?
• Shouldn’t Hogan be in charge of these things?
• Storm: Blah blah blah
• Roode: Blah Blah Blaaaaaaaaahh
• King Mo looks like he escaped the Burger King commercial
• King Mo is not even wearing a full crown, it’s a god damned tiara
• Hogan needs to stop speaking on TV

Segment 8: Aces and Assholes segment,

• Wow Joseph Park and Abysss have matching tattoos….

Segment 9: Match 6: Bully Vs. Aries Vs. Hardy

• Christ Hemme pan-up count: 3
• Why isn’t this the BFG main event again??
• This feels like a go home show, but they still have one more week…that’s weird
• Nice to see Bully actually win though

Segment 10: Sting segment

• Sting mon? Is Hogan Jamaican you crazy yet?
• So the first person you idiots decided on was the first person that was on the show today? Awesome
• So according to Hulk Hogan, Gunner and Kid Kash > Austin Aries and Jeff Hardy
• Bully Ray is so fucking good, he has been the best character in the past year on TNA
• Why is this crowd saying “We want Devon”?
• Most stunted ending ever

Before I give my ratings, I have an idea for how TNA can win me back. Have Bully and Sting beat Aces and Eights at the PPV, with Bully getting the win. Hogan and Sting should be so impressed that they plug Bully into the World Title match. An Aces and Eight member then helps Bully to win the belt and he is revealed to be the leader as BFG goes off the air.

TNH8 Scale

Logic: 3 Laganas out of 5

Wrestling: 3.5 Laganas out of 5

Overall: 6.5 Laganas our of 10