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Mad Mike Reviews TNA: Cheaters Always Prosper (Approved By Hotwheelz)

May 31, 2012

Greetings Mayhemmers, since I’m the guy who watches TNA the most as the main hosts on this show, but we never seem to talk about it (mainly because it sucks) I decided to at least use my journalistic integrity and live blog about it each week. This will be written live as I watch Impact, so enjoy!

Segment 1: Recrap, Match 1: Lumberjack match Roode Vs. Sting

EY is wearing a lumberjack shirt, love him
Why are there only 5 heels and like 30 faces as lumberjacks?

Segment 2: Match cont.

With all the people on hard camera being forced to stand its a bit harder to distinguish lumberjacks
Wow, what a way to make your champion look like a jobber
Oh and here comes Hogan to make it a title match at Slammiversary
Those lumberjacks sure cleared out of there quickly

Segment 3: Madison segment, Bully segment

Madison everything about you is put together really well
This is almost the same segment as last week so far
I love when people talk to the “guys in the truck”
If he’s a real attorney why doesn’t he just sue Bully
Also isn’t their father James Mitchell? Where’s he at?
Do these storywriters remember that Abyss already came back????
How can a non-contracted lawyer be booked at Slammiversary?

Segment 4: Match 2: Sabin vs Aries, Taz segment

Nice to see they remembered this title exists
Oh my God, THAT’S how an Aries/Joe feud is gonna start? Really??
That slingshotting suplex was amazing
Nice reversal of the Cradle Shock
I wish this match went as long as the Sting/Roode one did
HAHAHAHA they kicked Flair off of GutCheck
Taz is going to be the Austin of GutCheck now right?

Segment 5: TNA Discussions

God I hate this GutCheck segment
“I admire his mustache”
Brother Fucking Love and Doctor Tom Pritchard thinks his gimmick is stupid? Jesus
He’s being entertaining….and apparently this is a bad thing
This whole segment is just one big contradiction
This is also probably why I can’t watch reality TV

Segment 6: Who’s fighting Devon segment?, Dixie/Brooke segment, Kaz/Daniels segment

Can someone please slap Jeff in the face when he has his eyes closed?
Wow, Floridiots touching the camera screen
Hey Dixie, did you suck any dick on your way to the ring?
Oh God this is awful
Dixie looks hotter than Brooke FYI
TNA Hall of Fame segment? Who are they inducting Ron Killings?
Brooke does not look good in HD
“Filling big yellow boots” doesn’t really apply if those yellow boots haven’t left
Thank God Kaz and Daniels mentioned something

Segment 7: Match 3: Devon Vs. Jeff, James Storm bullshit

Jeff doesn’t even look excited for a title shot…have the drugs numbed him that much?
Wow…the crowd is dead for this, D E D…dead
Second week in a row, the TV Title match has been interrupted, horrible
I don’t care about James Storm’s ranch…at all

Segment 8: Gut Check bullshit