Mad Mike Reviews TNA: DirecTV People Are Lucky…

Greetings Mayhemmers, since I’m the guy who watches TNA the most as the main hosts on this show, but we never seem to talk about it (mainly because it sucks) I decided to at least use my journalistic integrity and live blog about it each week. This will be written live as I watch Impact, so enjoy!

Segment 1: Recrap, Match 1: Storm Vs. Angle

• God…I really hate that TNA is now focusing on two stories I give -36 shits about
• Where the fuck is the background sound?
• Yay Sting and Hogan aren’t there!
• The top people in the BFG get to issue the challenge…that’s not bad
• I wish someone would come out and say “I want an easy night….Robbie E get your ass out here”
• The rap in Angle’s music is really awful, it sounds like Dragonball GT
• This really isn’t great television
• Ugh…the Nexus is at it again

Segment 2: Match 1: Joe vs. Pope

• Ok….so all the BFG guys were waiting right there yet no one heard Kurt get attacked by the Aces and Eights? That’s fucking retarded
• Nice to see more submission wrestling from Joe, the match was kinda flat though…everyone knows Pope isn’t winning this
• Get the fuck off my TV Wayne Arnold

Segment 3: Match 2: Jeff Vs. Robbie

• Great now he’s cutting promos with his eyes closed…die in a fire Jeff
• So Tenay said that the top contenders got to call people out….only one of them has actually been able to thus far, awesome
• Ha awesome, Hardy got counted out
• Sam Shaw?? He literally looks like the generic create-a-wrestler

Segment 4: ODBEY Segment!, Claire recrap, Gut Check segment

• Wow…honeymoon period is over ain’t it?
• Jesus, this is awful
• Claire looks like a cokehead
• Gut Check should be discontinued until someone actually shows up after they get the contract
• Jsus…this is fucking awful

Segment 5: Match 3: Anderson Vs. Styles

• I really hope TNA didn’t go to a holding pattern mode while this DirecTV bullshit is happening, because nothing has happened so far on these shows
• Hey Kenny boy, you can’t say “speaking of douchebags” when no one is speaking of douchebags
• Why is the entire roster just clearly ignoring this Aces and Eights thing? It’s retarded
• Taz and Tenay don’t want to make accusations about Aces and Eights, yet they have believed everything Daniels has said up until now

Segment 6: Match cont

• I wonder if the reactions of the Impact Zone fans would be different if they weren’t forced to stand the whole time
• Rather pedestrian match for these two, and AJ loses again because we know he’s not going to win
• If Claire is really AJ’s babymama then why did she act really nice when we first saw her
• Ummmm those pictures make it look like AJ was raped….
• Claire’s phone takes some amazing photos btw

Segment 7: Match 4: RVD Vs. Daniels, Aries segment

• Bellator commentator guy needs to go away
• I don’t care about Bellator
• Stop this guy from talking
• That didn’t even look like a three count
• This match was pretty awful
• It’s not difficult to beat a hand of Aces and Eights there Austin…

Segment 8: Brooke phone call, Park segment, Match 5: Bully Vs. Magnus, Chavo package

• Oh great, Brooke talking…what she’s best at…ugh
• No one should talk to Garrrret about anything ever
• Again no TV Title match this week, no championship match this week, no Gut Check match this week…OFN is awful
• Wow, boring match…and now everyone has points…that’s a shame
• Whoopdedo Chavo

Segment 9: Match 6: Roode Vs Aries

• Aries doesn’t even get an entrance????
• Retarded “We want t-shirts” chants

Segment 10: Match cont

• Ugh more Aces and Eightsbullshit
• This is awful

TNH8 Scale

Logic: 1 Lagana out of 5

Wrestling: 2.5 Laganas out of 5

Overall: 3.5 Laganas out of 10