Home » Blog_entries » Mad Mike Reviews TNA: Double Impact Christmas Special

Mad Mike Reviews TNA: Double Impact Christmas Special

Dec 23, 2011

Greetings Mayhemmers, since I’m the guy who watches TNA the most as the main hosts on this show, but we never seem to talk about it (mainly because it sucks) I decided to at least use my journalistic integrity and live blog about it each week. This will be written live as I watch Impact, so enjoy! And this week is very special boys and girls, since I had food poisoning last week, and didn’t want to watch anything that might make me vomit, I avoided TNA. So this week you will get two reviews! God give me strength…

Show 1 (12/15)

Segment 1: Recrap, Match 1: Overtime match

Wow, really starting off Impact with how you screwed over anyone who bought the PPV? Smart move
This is the second time the live crowd was pissed at the ending of a PPV and the second time Sting agreed with them, not a good sign at all
Oh good Carly is here, this episode is automatically better
So wait, this match is Sudden Death? Then why have a time limit? This doesn’t make any sense already
It really irritated me that during Final Resolution there was no scoreboard
Jesus, five minute time limit kicking in, this is retarded
Wow, AJ totally missed that springboard 450
Why even make a fucking time limit??? This is fucking idiotic!
Wow that was really anticlimactic, wtg TNA

Segment 2: Wild Card Match 1

Hernandez and Robbie T? Really??
Say what you will about WWE, but they actually have 3 established tag teams, TNA is breaking up any teams they have for this thing
Abyss and Steiner together, ugh this is awful
Wow, a super back body drop by Steiner
Earl is the worst referee ever
Interesting progression of this storyline with Abyss

Segment 3: Angle segment

So the new thing is “Cowboy Up”? That’s lame
Angle is just going to go in a redneck town and start beating people up? That’s awful

Segment 4: Match 3: Shiima Vs. Niese, Jarretts segment, Shiima segment

Ok so this is for a spot in a fourway that the other two spots, the guys don;t have to earn their way in? I’m begging TNA to make some sense
This is a really good match, but I don;t have to tell you guys this, its Shiima after all
I wish it was just these two fighting for number contendership considering Sorrensten and Kash’s feuds haven’t been exciting at all
I also wish Aries would do commentary for this series of matches
Shiima is being an awesome heel right now, this doesn’t bode well for his chances of winning
Hooray Shiima wins!!
I really hope Karen goes away, she has been really irritating, whereas Jeff has been the most entertaining he has in years
“Me, Myself, and Ion” now see THAT is a fucking catch phrase

Segment 5: Flair/Gunner bit, Match 4: Seriously isn’t Jesse Neal done yet?

I really hate Gunner
Haha, the Impact Fantasy Game is still a thing???
Worst looking DDT ever…srsly

Segment 6: Sting/Karen segment,Hardy segment, Joe segment

Hahahaha Karen is totally turning on her husband, that’s kinda hilarious
Oh I really hope this clears up the logic issue with Karen being a bitch to the Knockouts
If Jeff wins at Genesis, I really think I may stop watching Impact
Oh thank God, Bully is here for some actual entertainment
No Bully, we don’t want Jeff being creative, have you ever seen those stupid statues and heard his “moetry” I’d rather have food poisoning again
Honestly, I think I would really like to see a ladder match with Bully and Jeff for the championship
God I really hate Joe, its the same boring ass promo over and over again
Magnus is too good for this

Segment 7: Match 5: Wild Card Match Robbie E and Doug Williams Vs. Joe and Magnus, Jeff/Sting segment

I’d honestly rather see Joe with a guy like EY…that would be pure gold
When did TNA remember they had the members of the British Invasion?
Why couldn’t we have the British Invasion going against Red and Blue?
Technically this is a match of all heels right? God I hate this company
Out of the four guys in the ring, you’d never guess Fake Ryder was the one with some gold
I don’t mind the team of Magnus and Joe, but Joe and EY would have been amazing
You know…these poor Jarrett kids, neither parent wants to look after them

Segment 8: EY segment, Devon segment

Eric Young should talk for five minutes on every Impact
Devon: STOP BRINGING YOUR FUCKING CHILDREN TO THE GOD DAMNED IMPACT ZONE
I was watching an old TNA DVD about tag teams and I could have sworn I saw Devon’s kids in the crowd then too
For a guy who said he’d take a bullet for his kids, Devon sure has put them in a lot of situations where they could get their asses kicked
This has been the slowest burn and the worst payoff ever
TNA needs to stop doing any kind of storylines that involve families, seriously any story

Segment 9: Jeff/Karen segment, Match 6: Traci Vs Maddy

There was way too much time spent on the DD on the back of Traci’s jersey thing
Labia count: 1
So Traci kicks out of Madison’s finisher, but loses to a kick to the head…wow

Segment 10: Jeff/Karen/Sting segment, Match 7: Jeff Vs Bully

There no way that Sting watches the segments in this show week in and week out
Ok this was funny, but its taking way too long
Great…they’re both gone, whoop-de-doo
Roode is so great on commentary, he almost makes Tenay bearable
Nice to see a TNA main event end cleanly
I wish The Selfish Generation was actually a stable led by Roode, Shiima would fit perfectly in there as could Gail Kim

TNHate Scale

Logic: 2 Russos out of 5

Wrestling: 4.5 Russos out of 5

Overall: 6.5 Russos out of 5

Show 2 (12/22)

Segment 1: Recrap, Bully/Roode segment

Bully likes giving beatings…that’s not PG
See TNA is so bad even Roode doesn’t want to be there anymore
God those idiot Hardy marks in the corner are going to be annoying all night, I know it
My God shut those fucking idiots up
This is really anticlimactic when the promo right before Impact starts already tells you what the main event is for tonight

Segment 2: Match 1: Wild Card: RVD/Daniels Vs. AJ/Kaz

This doesn’t seem random at all
Carly looks very pretty during the episode of Impact, she looks way better than So Cal Val
Daniels: “I beat him, you can beat him…maybe” Tremendous.
I could have made a much more interesting set of teams with the same 16 people in this tournament
It seems like there is a rip in the canvas of the mat that is really painfully noticeable
Wow, Daniels actually fell into a cameraman…
That kick to the head should really have constituted a tag, especially if that other thing counted as a tag
Now the main event has been changed to a street fight…good lord

Segment 3: Shiima/Niese segment, Match 2: Shiima Vs. Niese, Madison segment

THE HAIRSPRAY HAS RETURNED!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS CAUSE FOR CAPS LOCK!!!!!!!!!!
No one cares about Tony Niese
This is a phenomenal match, anyone who doesn’t normally watch Impact needs to watch this
Madison is in charge of the Knockouts, oh man this could be fun

Segment 4: Pope segment, EY/ODB “business meeting”

Oh great Devon’s kids are called “double Trouble” now
EY is absolutely hilarious

Segment 5: Match 3: Tara Vs Brookemacher

Labia count: 1
Tazz and Tenay and all of TNA need to decide exactly if the announcers can or cannot see the segments from the back
Oh jokes about the Knockouts “hefty” salary will never get old

Segment 6: Match cont., Sting/Jeff segment

This isn’t much of a match…
However, the boringness of this match has caused me to realize this was from a different set of tapings again
Why are they Tebowing?
Wow TNA, you couldn’t fix the audio so you don’t hear earlier commentary in the background of this interview??

Segment 7: EY Segment, Storm segment, Moore segment

Every man should ask EY what to get their lady for Christmas
Kurt needs his tiny cowboy hat back
Shannon Moore is going to do what he does best…I’m assuming this is job out

Segment 8: Roode/Bully segment, Match 4: Wild Card MeX-Pac and Moore Vs ODBEY

When exactly did ODB turn face?
I wish they had made this match slightly more obvious
Labia count: 1
See this doesn’t make sense Moore is getting angry that Anarchia did what he is supposed to do in this match
Thank God MeX-Pac lost this one

Segment 9: Red/Blue segment, Angle segment, Match 5: Bully/Roode Vs Sting/Jeff

Crimson really can’t brag about being undefeated when he has lost before in a tag team match
Kurt totally needs some spurs in this segment
Of all the times to play some of Mickie James’ country songs, this would be it and have it make sense
Kurt just superkicked people who sat there to take it…I hope one of them was named Stan
Oh fuck we’re back to the annoying ass crowd now
This split screen is too confusing

Segment 10: Match cont.