Mad Mike Reviews TNA: London Brawling

Greetings Mayhemmers, since I’m the guy who watches TNA the most as the main hosts on this show, but we never seem to talk about it (mainly because it sucks) I decided to at least use my journalistic integrity and live blog about it each week. This will be written live as I watch Impact, so enjoy! And I’m drunk for this one, so this may be belligerent towards TNA

Segment 1: Recrap, London segment, Sting segment

• It’s kinda sad this is their biggest crowd
• I gotta say, Impact looks great in a real arena
• Why blow the surprise of Hulk Hogan being back as soon as the show opens??
• I wish TNA could fill arenas like this all the time, looks way more professional
• Wow a “We want D-von” chant…that’s never happened ever
• Wow a four-way…I’m sure that’ll end clean

Segment 2: Match 1 : Buckingham Brawl

• Wow…a half-tornado, half-tag team match…that’s modestly interesting
• HA! Magnus was in England’s version of American Gladiators
• Joe and Magnus are looking like chumps here
• I’ve never seen that tandem move finish off anyone before
• Probably doesn’t speak too well to Joe and Magnus that is took a two-on-one advantage to win
• Also this ends Crimson’s undefeated streak…but I’m sure they won’t acknowledge it because he wasn’t pinned

Segment 3: Bischoff segment

• God I’m so fucking tired of this “trainer” storyline
• Hogan is the worst trainer of all time
• Oh my God, this is going to stretch out for another segment?? I fucking hate you TNA

Segment 4: Match 2: Haskins Vs. Aries

• Love that Aries is being cheered over the hometown boy
• Jesus Haskins almost Brock’d himself

Segment 4 and 5: Match 3: Storm Vs. Roode

• This match would be much better served as a PPV Main Event
• This is a great match, but it basically means nothing since its non-title
• Also logically this makes no sense why Storm would want both Roode and Bully at the same time, but I guess this is what happens when a drug addict can’t leave the country
• Wow TNA couldn’t even give Storm a non-title win

Segment 6: Match 4: Tara Vs. Gail

• This is the best match Gail has had in a while
• Earl is getting really old
• Clearly Maddy coming into the ring and hitting Gail should be a DQ

Segment 7: Bischoff segment

• Don’t get me wrong, the girls look hot in the commercial…but weren’t these the same girls that complained about having to dress skimpily
• I really, really, really, really, hate this storyline
• Considering that the announcers have already said Hulk Hogan will be on Impact a couple times, this is the worst surprise ever
• The booing of Garret is awesome
• Immortal just needs to go away, I mean who is even in it anymore?
• Now see THAT is a crowd pop, but it’s Hogan in England…don’t think he’s been there in like 15 years
• Nice to see all the WWE merch for Hogan being worn
• “I’m your father!!” I thought the Star Wars Impact was next week?
• Jesus Hogan looks awful with that shirt off

Segment 8: Hogan segment, Match 5: Bully Vs Storm

• Did Hogan just drop a “Gold Digger” reference??
• Hogan just showed the same amount of time that Bischoff has left in TNA as TNA has to be the biggest company of all time, so I’d say Bischoff has nothing to worry about
• Another “We want D-von” chant???

Segment 9: Match cont

• Sting has a black cricket bat….I wonder if he knows what a crumpet is
• Bully Ray is not Darth Vader….if anything he’s probably like Boba Fett
• Sometimes these announcers should shut up so you can actually hear the live reaction from the crowd
• Eh at least Storm won one of these matches

TNH8 Scale

Logic: 2.5 Russos out of 5

Wrestling: 5 Russos out of 5

Overall: 7.5 Russos out of 5