Mad Mike Reviews TNA: No Birthday Party For Serge :(

Greetings Mayhemmers, since I’m the guy who watches TNA the most as the main hosts on this show, but we never seem to talk about it (mainly because it sucks) I decided to at least use my journalistic integrity and live blog about it each week. This will be written live as I watch Impact, so enjoy!

Segment 1: Recap (cuz it was good…not crap), Hogan segment

• They really shouldn’t call it “the return of Open Fight Night” if they do it every month
• Female Gut Check participant? Interesting.
• Hogan doesn’t know what “go for broke” and “go for greatness” means
• Can we just call him Awesome Aries please?
• Nice to see they gave Roods a new entrance graphic
• I really don’t care about Anderson at all

Segment 2: Match 1:Anderson Vs. Daniels, AJ/Dixie segment

• James Storm should really just cause a DQ in every BFG Match and he’ll automatically be in the final four
• Seriously how is AJ, who is sleeping around on his wife, the face in this angle?
• 10 Minute time limit is a good idea for these matches
• And we just did this match to show off Daniels’ new shirt right? Right.
• Daniels isn’t the one wrecking the marriage…until we hear about the surprise party for Serge anyway
• Did Anderson bring his own ring rats?
• I’m tired of AJ/Dixie…I really am

Segment 3: Brooke segment, Match 2: Angle Vs. Robbie E, Gut Check package, Magnus walking

• They really need to stop these HD closeups on Brooke
• Isn’t ODB already half the Knockouts Tag Champs?
• Oh good they just said that
• Didn’t last week Brooke say that three girls were going to fight Hooters?
• So….ODB….who is tag champs with her husband is fine, but Madison who has a crush on someone isn’t? Oh fine then
• Wow….Robbie E might have been tapping the “Easy Button” for Angle there
• This chick has HUGE FUCKING EYES
• I kinda want Magnus to win the BFG Series

Segment 4: Match 3: Magnus Vs. “The Phenominal Homewrecker” AJ Styles

• God I hate this AJ/Dixie/Daniels/Kaz thing…please stop, it’s ruining otherwise good matches

Segment 5: Gut Check match

• This girl is TNA Ready, she has her hoodie already
• Well that was a quick match, but I like her
• I think she would help freshen up the Knockouts Division
• Pope…please slap Jeff, please please please….I’ll buy Elijah Burke gear I promise!!

Segment 6: Bully/Park segment, Match 4: Joe Vs. Storm

• If the BFG Series somehow led to an Aried/Bully match at BFG I’d totally be cool with that
• Nice to see that since Crimson lost his streak he’s essentially off TV
• Oh no…did Joe revert to his “losing every week” gimmick from last year’s BFG

Segment 7: Brooke segment, Match 5: Pope Vs. Bully

• Ah so they kicked out ODB for the same reason as Madison
• How is Bully going to get 10 points when he doesn’t use any submissions?
• Abyss coming out telegraphs that Bully isn’t going to win
• Brooke said last week it was gonna be four girls in the match…

Segment 8: Match 6: Hooters Vs. Mickie

• Labia count: 1
• Nice to see this will probably be the start of Mickie’s heel turn
• Wow girl in the front row in the Jets sweatshirt is not happy at all…

Segment 9: Match 7: RVD Vs. Hardy

• Neither of these guys seem high right now…this is a good match
• Holy tattoos Jeff
• 450 from RVD???
• Holy Twist of Fate bump
• Excellent match from those two!

Segment 10: AJ/Dixie bullshit

• Wrestlefan: So AJ Styles is married to CM Punk’s sister? WTF?
• So this entire thing was about protecting an addict?? What horseshit.
• Well at least this angle is finally done
• This was such a fun show until the end…just like last week

TNH8 Scale

Logic: 4.5 Laganas out of 5, except the last segment…that gets a 0

Wrestling: 5 Laganas out of 5

Overall: 9.5 Laganas out of 10