Mad Mike Reviews TNA: Not A Ratings Giant

Greetings Mayhemmers, since I’m the guy who watches TNA the most as the main hosts on this show, but we never seem to talk about it (mainly because it sucks) I decided to at least use my journalistic integrity and live blog about it each week. This will be written live as I watch Impact, so enjoy!

Segment 1: Recrap, Roode segment

• As much as I like Roode, he’s really getting oversaturated at this point
• This bothers me, because Sting could have counted two other pinfalls as “the enforcer” at the PPV when the ref was down
• Wow TNA is actually introducing people AS their Twitter Handles now….that’s just wrong
• ANOTHER title match for Jeff Hardy? Wow is that getting old

Segment 2: Match 1: Roode Vs. Hardy

• Jesus I just realized it says “one more shot” in Hardy’s song…can he possibly suck more?
• So considering there are no DQs and no tiem limit, does that mean Roode can still get counted out? Yeah…thought so.
• Jeff looks like he got race raped by a Peep
• Brian Hebner is an official for not instituting the count
• Drink every time you hear Tazz or Tenay say “Brandon Jacobs”
• Emo kid Sting is there and I want to punch him in the neck
• Carly not being at this Impact makes me sad

Segment 3: Match cont.

• This match is fine, if it is barely taking place in the ring, where you know the finish has to be
• Jesus Kurt is back…who the fuck cares?

Segment 4: Roode interview, EY segment

• Roode didn’t cheat the system this time, unless he was the one that called Angle to interfere
• It was Sting that made it a no DQ match
• Eric running down his daily activities is more entertaining than most of the rest of the show

Segment 5: Update on Sorenson, Match 2: Shiima/Aries Vs. Shelley/Moore, Gail/Maddy segment

• I really hope he’s going to be ok
• TNA needs to stop doing the full body shot of Christy Hemme
• The interaction with Shiima and Aries is so great
• Shiima defends his hair spray like a man
• Awesome finish, nice to see Shiima getting a push
• I love this Madison character she has had, it’s really a shame they’re not gonna give her the belt from this

Segment 6: Match 3: Knockouts Battle Royal

• Do we really need to see this many entrances?
• Labia count: 1
• Rock Out with your Knockout is so much better than the pigeon thing VelVel
• So Cal Val sighting!
• It is nice to see the Knockouts will take the over the top rope bump
• Wow, eliminations are fast as hell in this
• Labia count: 2
• Remember the really great feud Velvet and Sarita had? Yeah no one else does either
• If any one the Knockouts that were in the ring had a chance, then isn’t Christy Hemme still technically in the match?

Segment 7: Joe/Magnus segment, Bischoff segment, Bully segment

• I wonder who will be the defacto new team after Red and Blue lose next week
• WTF is Chelsea doing there?
• Immortal is looking fucking pathetic…why is this still a thing?
• God the people right behind Bischoff’s head look like the most bored people in the world
• Wow, they just wanted to use the “Future Endeavored” line didn’t they?
• Calfzilla.

Segment 8: EY/ODB segment, Match 4: Bully Vs. Storm

• EY needs to write the songs for everyone in TNA
• It’s always weird seeing when a wrest;er’s boot is removed
• You know, if you’re going to remove someone’s boot who uses a superkick, wouldn’t you remove the boot they kick with?

Segment 9: Match cont

• Wow, all that punishment and Bully jobbed to three moves…a little upsetting
• This is the only time you’ll see a Cowboy and a Giant celebrating together
• I’m sure that little boy loved being showered by beer
• Jacobs could have at least taken his phone off
• Jacobs screaming “You ain’t from New York!!”
• Brandon Jacobs’ place of birth: Houma, Louisiana
• Bully Ray’s place of birth: Queens, New York
• Trivia is fun isn’t it?

Segment 10: Stay Tuned for Reaction!!, Sting segment

• I read that initially Jacobs was involved in attacking Kurt Angle, I’d have rather seen that
• Jacobs shouldn’t really ever talk
• Why haven’t they incorporated the “if you get yourself DQed, counted out, you lose the title” dealie yet?
• Wait…we’re talking about Lockdown already? There’s no PPV in March?
• Um…ok, so there’s Victory Road in March, does that mean we’re getting two months of Storm Vs Roode build? That’s awful
• Wow…that was an awkward ending

TNH8 Scale:

Logic: 3.5 Russos out of 5

Wrestling: 5 Russos out of 5

Overall: 8.5 Russos out of 10