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Mad Mike Reviews TNA: Oops, I Did It Again

Jan 6, 2012

Greetings Mayhemmers, since I’m the guy who watches TNA the most as the main hosts on this show, but we never seem to talk about it (mainly because it sucks) I decided to at least use my journalistic integrity and live blog about it each week. This will be written live as I watch Impact, so enjoy! Okay…so I kinda missed Impact again last week, so now I have to watch two shows again in a row…at least this will prepare me for the PPV coming up, over the course of the shows I’ll see how many matches are actually booked. The only one of note so far is Roode Vs. Jeff….so here we go!

Show 1

Segment 1: Recrap, Gail and Maddy segment

It appears this episode is going to focus on the Knockouts a lot…
Holy tits Tara…
Oh thank God, Sting is actually going to correct this huge lapse in logic
Madison is really the MVP of the Knockouts
Wow, with one sentence TNA fixed the whole logic problem of their women’s division…that’s a great start

Segment 2: Match 1: Abyss and Steiner Vs. AJ and Kaz

Did Scott add a chain as part of his tattoo?
TNA should really listen to their audience and turn Steiner face
It’s a shame they’re keeping Steiner heel, but this was a good match before the finish

Segment 3: Bully and Abyss segment, Angle/Sting segment

Bully Ray is still easily the best character TNA developed in all of 2011
Second match booked!
So wait, Abyss says he’ll join Immortal if he loses, but nothing if he wins? That’s a little weird
Third match booked!
Angle vs RVD should be a good match….if we had a Delorean

Segment 4: Flair/Gunner segment, Match 2: Shiima Vs Niese

Gunner certainly is “really bad” Ric, just not in the way you mean
Gunner…shouldn’t you be a “gunner” not a “killer”
Hooray A Double on commentary!
I don’t care if this is an object on a pole match, these guys work very well together
The guys in the white hoodies in the front row surrounding my Carly scare me
Aries should comment on every match
Nasty German off the top…holy hell
I’m really happy Shiima is getting a shot, if I wasn’t working I’d buy the PPV just to support him
Fourth match booked!

Segment 5: Match 3: Williams Vs. Gunner

Jesus Christy Hemme is showing some deep cleavage
Poor Doug Williams, he deserves better than this

Segment 6: Roode segment, EY/ODB segment

It does bother me that no one mentions how many times Storm has used that beer bottle to win both as a face and as a heel
I really love Roode, he is being wasted here in TNA
I love EY

Segment 7: Angle segment, Match 4: Joe/Magnus Vs EY/ODB

Wow, basically calling RVD out on being sloppy as shit…that’s odd
Magnus kinda looks like an indy wrestling Hugh Jackman
I do like that Joe and Magnus have some tag maneuvers, they’re so rare these days
Wow ODB looked like she really got fucked up with that throw to the buckle

Segment 8: Mickie segment, Match 5: Angle Vs. RVD

Mickie is way hotter in person than this lighting is making her seem
Good match, but with all RVD matches it just feels like its in slow motion
The ref shouldn’t be “throwing the match out” Angle should win by DQ, and RVD should be pissed

Segment 9: RVD/Angle/Storm segment; Match 6: Mickie Vs Gail

Wow, RVD is pissed…well done TNA
If a superkick is a bar fight move, then I’ve been fighting in bars all wrong
“Knockout’s Ladies Championship” really? Why not just the “TNA Knockouts Championship?”
Must be cold in the Impact Zone eh Gail?

Segment 10: Main Event cont.

Labia count: 1 (holy octopussy stretch)
Labia count: 2
This match is pretty good, but the feud has been so disjointed I don’t think its main event material
A great match ruined by a run-in for the finish, clearly this is always TNA’s M.O.

TNH8 Scale

Wrestling: 4.5 Russos out of 5

Logic: 4 Russos out of 5

Overall: 8.5 Russos out of 10 (Honestly not a bad way to close out the year, I’m sad I missed this one “live”)

Show 2

Segment 1: Recap (since last week was good), Sting segment

It bothers me that Jeff has one side of his face painted on his shirt and the other side on his face
Is Sting asking Jeff to accept Jesus as his lord and savior?
It bothers me a bit that Sting never mentions that he was the guy on the other side of the ring when Hardy showed up blasted
“Dusty never needed abs” – Bully Ray….I’m telling you best character TNA made in 2011
James…don’t give Jeff a beer, his probation officer watches Impact

Segment 2: Bikini segment…apparently, Match 1: Mickie and Traci Vs. Gail and Maddy

Sweet Jesus Maddy looks amazing
Clearly Mickie didn’t see the “no jumping” sign
I’d almost rather see this match in a pool
Fifth match booked!

Segment 3: Match cont., Flair/Gunner segment

Labia count: 1
It really sucks that Gail coming back led to the vanishing of Velvet Sky
Labia count: 2
Labia count: 3 Wow…Madison, really?
Not that bad of a match but some of those camera angles…
I hope this leads to Maddy getting a shot against Gail
Oh God, its so sad that Ric is doing what he can to get Gunner over and its so not working

Segment 4: EY segment, Tag Finals segment

I’m so glad they’re continuing this EY and ODB love story angle
It’s no coincidence that Impact has been better without Morgan and Crimson on
I kinda wish it was AJ and Magnus teaming up, that’d be amazing

Segment 5: Sting/Garret segment, EY in the women’s locker room, Match 2: Gunner Vs RVD

It’s also no coincidence that Impact has been good without this shit
How is this idiot allowed to ref again?
Ugh, I hate Garret
Haha EY shoved Maddy in the locker, that’s great
I wonder how many times RVD wishes he didn’t get caught smoking right after he won the WWE Title

Segment 6: Match cont., Faces segment, Heels segment

This is a better RVD match than I’ve seen in a while
Oh man….that was bad looking, that apron is dangerous
Al and D’Lo!!! TNA should revive a European Championship and just have them fight for it each week
Abyss over the past two weeks has been amazing
Bobby Roode has the best nicknames for himself
Was that Bully Ray plugging a match for a house show??? Wow, that was kinda awesome. Seriously if anyone in TNA has any sense he will be a world champ

Segment 7: Match 3: Kash and Aries Vs Shiima and Sorensen, Daniels segment

This should be really good
Hahaha Shiima stole the football, fucking love it
Carly is a fan of Shiima, another reason she will be my future wife
Hot damn, that was a fun match, Shiima’s facial reactions are awesome
Wow…way to totally give away the ending of this next match

Segment 8: ODB/EY segment, Match 4: Joe and Magnus Vs. AJ and Kaz

Hahaha ODB and EY make out, that’s amazing
It is awful that TNA basically gave away what’s going to happen in this match in the segment right before
Now that this tournament is basically over, these are the teams I would have done: ODB and Joe, Magnus and AJ, EY and Steiner, Abyss and Robbie E, Robbie T and Williams, Kaz and Anarquia, Hernandez and RVD, Daniels and Shannon Moore
This match is going to be way better than the tag title match
Kaz turns heel…for seemingly no reason, yawn.
Sixth match booked!

Segment 8: Morgan/Crimson segment, Genesis rundown, Main Event

Joe and Magnus are a way greater team than Red and Blue
Second D’Lo sighting!!!
PPV Card rundown…did I miss anything?
Seventh match booked! (Gunner vs RVD rematch)
Eighth match booked! (Pope Vs Devon)
Why is Angle still wearing that “warrior’s medal” in his graphic?
Genesis on the whole doesn’t look too shabby
Introductions for a six-man tag take way too long for a main event

Segment 10: Main Event cont.

I miss the days where Monster’s Ball meant that you spent the night before in a box
James Storm’s stock has really gone down for me in the past weeks, this feud with Kurt just doesn’t work
Interesting counter for a clothesline there
Wow, double DQ…kinda shitty way to end this
The triple submission is a cool visual for the last show though

TNH8 Scale

Wrestling: 3.5 Russos out of 5

Logic: 4.5 Russos out of 5

Overall: 8 Russos out of 10

Honestly, I’m shocked at how much I enjoyed both of these Impacts.