Home » Blog_entries » Mad Mike Reviews TNA: Open S*** Night…this is not a pun

Mad Mike Reviews TNA: Open S*** Night…this is not a pun

May 5, 2012

Greetings Mayhemmers, since I’m the guy who watches TNA the most as the main hosts on this show, but we never seem to talk about it (mainly because it sucks) I decided to at least use my journalistic integrity and live blog about it each week. This will be written live as I watch Impact, so enjoy!

Segment 1: Open Fight Night Segment, Match 1: Devon vs. Bully

So anyone can challenge anyone? Why isn’t everybody challenging Roode?
“Beautiful Gail” so Hogan forgets her name
“Greatest tag team in the world” Hogan forgets their names too
“Samoan” Joe…YUP.
Wow, the tag team champions? Really? TNA has two tag teams, and Joe and Magnus have beaten both of them…God I hate TNA
Didn’t Magnus and Joe already beat ODBEY?
Oh my God this intro is awful
Devon was talking about the one person everyone hated, I thought he meant Garrettttt
Devon Vs Bully is actually a cool way to start this off, knowing TNA it won’t have a clean finish though

Segment 2: Match cont., Aries segment, Flair segment

This match may have been better if there was actually some heat, and Devon forgot about Bully for like a year
Wow, a clean win for Devon? That’s shocking…it really is
Aries should have a good match tonight hopefully
TNA is already not bleeping Bischoff, God I hate you TNA
Flair has been partying for 63 years, and hasn’t been sleeping since he was 20, so either Flair is 83 years old, or partied straight out of the womb
I’m not sure which is right
Isn’t the point of an “open” Fight Night is for the fighters to make the challenge and not get booked?
What if all four of those tag team challenge the champs? It should be a five-way match

Segment 3: Angle segment, Borash segment

That was a nice reaction from Angle when usually TNA doesn’t do things like that
So wait a minute….any employee can call out any other employee? Fuck that I wanna see two dudes from catering beat the shit out each other
Eric *BLEEP* there Borash
Nice to see those idiots with facepaint in the front row, way to advertise you are at a theme park
Ha! At least they blurred his name on the TNAtron
Ooh hot new girl in the front row…this has promise
“Kick it off” Eric, this show has been going on for over a half hour now you idiot
Well this was entirely pointless, isn’t Bischoff like a black belt?

Segment 4: Anderson segment, Match 2: Mexican America Vs Angle, Gut Check segment

Wow, we don’t really need to bring politics into this
Ummm you guys it’s an open fight night, just fucking challenge the tag champs
Oh good let’s squash Mexican America more
If this is what Open Fight Night is going to be like every month, then it’s going to suck
God I hate you MeX-Pac
Alex Silva…wow can you look more generic?
Al Snow, Senior Direction of Talent Relations is just because of Johnny Ace

Segment 5: Gut Check match: Silva Vs Robbie

If they really want to make this interesting, the guys looking to get a contract should they win, they should take the contract of the guy they wrestle
Especially since there are already too many people on the roster as it is
If Al is the lead judge…who are the other judges, and why aren’t they ringside?
The crowd is chanting Woo Woo Woo, awesome
If you can’t beat Robbie, you shouldn’t be on the roster
Silva didn’t do anything spectacular to garner any interest to be on the roster, so naturally he’ll probably get a contract

Segment 6: Dixie segment, Hogan segment, Hooters segment/match with “Beautiful Gail”

Someone should challenge Dixie to a fight, she’d have to accept
“Start the segment” wow…that’s awful
Anderson and Jeff AREN’T A FUCKING TAG TEAM!!!!!!!!!!!!
They are already champions aren’t they??”
One night in ODB” Wow.
I’m refusing to use this chick’s name anymore and just going to start calling her Hooters
Pair of ASSets? Do you have two asses?
“Why not challenge the champion?” is the best quote of the night BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT EVERYONE SHOULD BE DOING
I’d rather see Taz. Vs Earl Hebner
Ok new hot girl hasn’t reacted once to a single match, I think the line for butterbeer was too long so she just snuck inside
Ok look Hooters won, yawn

Segment 7: Kaz/Daniels segment, RVD segment, Gut Check segment

Ugh, don’t talk about The Force Kaz
I don’t care about number one contenders packages in TNA anymore, there’s no conclusion
Who the fuck are these other judges?
So Gut Check is a two week process? That’s horrible
For an Open Fight Night there is a distinct lack of fighting tonight

Segment 8: Garretttttttt segment, Joseph Park segment, Match 5: Tag Title Match

Um isn’t Eric not fired he just can’t use his last name?
Ok I’m extremely bored with this now
So Hogan’s idea of a great tag team match is eliminating the three actual tag teams?
So if backstage is crazier than what’s in the ring, why aren’t we watching that?
Don’t say “crash TV” Taz

Segment 9: Match cont.

Seriously, when did Hardy and Anderson ever say they were a tag team?? Someone tell me this!!!
God that was just awful and pointless
Seriously, are Magnus and Joe faces or heels?
Why are these guys feuding with AJ and attacking the tag champs?

Segment 10: Bleepoff Segment