Mad Mike Reviews TNA: “Railroaded From Behind.”

Greetings Mayhemmers, since I’m the guy who watches TNA the most as the main hosts on this show, but we never seem to talk about it (mainly because it sucks) I decided to at least use my journalistic integrity and live blog about it each week. This will be written live as I watch Impact, so enjoy!

Segment 1: Recrap, BFG Package. Match 1: Hardy Vs. Joe

• I still really hate that the No Surrender logo is basically the Captain America shield
• It looks like these guys have finally figured out math…good for them
• I just realized we have absolutely no matches booked for No Surrender…fantastic
• So…at No Surrender, is it still highest points or does it turn into a normal tournament?

Segment 2: Match cont., Aries segment

• So is everyone besides Bully Ray in the Top 5 a face? Ew. I hope Bully wins.
• Is that a fucking weird Anaconda Vice?
• What???
• This pisses me off because Jeff has an established submission hold called the Spine Line he’s used a couple times
• Hey Aries, never start with the head…the victim gets all fuzzy

Segment 3: Magnus segment, Hogan segment, Hogan segment with ovaries

• I really like Magnus a lot, I’m glad it seems like he is getting a push
• What is up with the audio on this segment?
• Oh God not another one of these bullshit segments
• Robbie…you were kinda in the BFG Series, that’s an opportunity
• Two of these bullshit Hogan segments in a row…kill me fucking now
• This is all because TNA realized that “oh shit, we didn’t book the PPV”
• MAAAAAAKEEE OUUUUUUUUUUT

Segment 4: Match 2: Gail Vs. Tara, Joey Ryan segment

• I wonder when the next time we will actually see a heel Knockout win with Tiffany as the ref
• How long do you think Taz and Tenay have wanted to say the name Dave Bautista?
• Tiffany is a much better husband beater than she is a ref
• Yup faces still win
• So wait…why did Joey attack the guy that voted him yes?

Segment 5: Joey Ryan segment, Bully/Park segment, Aries segment

• Congrats TNA tis Gut Check is a huge success…
• 3 contracts given out, 2 people said no to, and yet the three people who “won” haven’t been on TV, yet here is Joey Ryan
• Why wouldn’t you want to fight someone who is literally famous for jobbing?
• Wow, that was just a fantastic segment
• Joseph Park is definitely behind Aces and Assholes

Segment 6: Hogan bullshit, Match 3: Bully Vs. RVD, Aries segment

• Thankfully that was short
• Taz this isn’t the post season…Tenay said this is the last day of regular season, which makes more sense
• If both these guys are just looking for a win, why doesn’t Bully try for a countout win?
• Why is the audio weird on this episode?
• NICE!
• Well played gentlemen, well played
• If Bully doesn’t win this, there’s no justice
• So….are these finals is it still done by points? Because I think Jeff is mathematically out of it
• Mike from New York? Stop stealing my gimmick!
• Um……Hogan, you said to break his legs
• Why the hell would you trust these people……again???

Segment 7: Storm segment

• Oh fuck, Bully better beat Storm

Segment 8: Magnus segment, Match 4: Appletini Vs. Hernanadez and Chavo

• Magnus again! Huzzah!
• Tenay…..please don’t call them Tex-Mex, that’s pretty racist
• Let’s count how many of Eddie’s move Chavo uses now: Helo
• This is the sloppiest match I’ve ever seen
• Three Amigos
• Hernandez is a strong mother fucker

Segment 9: Match cont, No Surrender breakdown

• I’d laugh my dick off if King Mo was in Aces and Assholes
• Kaz really is just low rent Randy Orton now isn’t he?
• Remember when Hernandez didn’t botch everything?
• That was a sick tag maneuver by Tex-Mex
• Ah more cheating by Team Appletini
• The most unnecessary pyro of all time
• We’re loaded this Sunday, and everything was just booked tonight!
• Shiima and Sonjay will be great
• Okay…so point don’t matter anymore, that what it sounds like right? Right? Right.

Segment 10: Austins and Assholes segment

• So instead of actually finding out who is behind the group, you will just take a fight with maybe one of them?
• Worst negotiator ever.
• WHY WOULD ANYONE TRUST THESE GUYS????
• Rip the mask off….rip the mask off
• Weirdest ending ever…

TNH8 Scale:

Logic: 4 Laganas out of 5

Wrestling: 4 Laganas out of 5

Overall: 8 Laganas out of 10