Mad Mike Reviews TNA: Ten Years of Last Minute Booking

Greetings Mayhemmers, since I’m the guy who watches TNA the most as the main hosts on this show, but we never seem to talk about it (mainly because it sucks) I decided to at least use my journalistic integrity and live blog about it each week. This will be written live as I watch Impact, so enjoy!

Segment 1: Recrap, Dixie segment

• Is this really how you want the owner of your company portrayed?
• This is why WWE makes a distinction between Vince McMahon and “Mr. McMahon”
• Why didn’t she just fire Daniels and Kaz months ago?
• She’s pointing out that Impact doesn’t screen anything they run…awesome
• How is Dixie a face because of this?
• Daniels should say that she found someone to fill her hole
• Seriously…how the fuck is Dixie a face in this???
• Wow awful fake punch Serge
• STOP CLAPPING YOU IDIOTS

Segment 2: Match 1: Crimson Vs. Aries, Hogan rambling

• That water spray was the start of a feud…YUP, that’s how bad this product is
• The PPV is Sunday, and we have TWO matches announced….way to go TNA
• Of course Joe interferes…God I hate TNA
• Crimson has the least “impact”ful “undefeated” streak in wrestling history
• If Crimson ran through everybody…wouldn’t he be the fucking champion?
• Has it really been over a year of this bullshit? That’s pathetic
• I have no idea what any of Hogan said

Segment 3: Knockouts segment, Hogan segment

• God Brooke looks awful in HD
• Oh good Mickie James heel turn….I guess
• Get it? Because she’s “Hardcore Country” so she should be in the country video
• Did Dixie fuck Montgomery and Gentry to get them so much exposure?
• Emo Sting kid is back and he brought friends…I want to taintkick all of them
• This better not end with Hogan winning the World Title….this better fucking not
• Roode has said Hogan is jealous for like five week in a row now

Segment 4: Joseph Park segment, Match 2: Velvet Vs. Mickie Vs. Tara Vs. Hooters

• ABYSS HAS BEEN ON THE FUCKING SHOW! WE FOUND HIM ALREADY!
• “Don’t Mess With Tess” worst catchphrase ever
• God such a short segment of the match…that sucks

Segment 5: Match cont., Bully Ray segment

• Hey Gail, Velvet actually beat you for the championship once…just a hint
• Gail is awful on commentary
• 4 Way submission is a lot of fun
• The Hooterbuster again?? Jesus.
• Did Bully just use the word “fiduciary”? Nice

Segment 6: Hogan segment, Contract signing

• Between the actual show and the Rent-A-Center commercials, this show has entirely too much Hogan
• Even though this is live it still feels really scripted
• I think I’d actually wear that Bully Ray shirt, that’s nice
• Isn’t spitting in his face like….assault? Can’t he sue?
• This is actually pretty awesome
• That was a damn good Abyss promo
• CAN DEVON FIGHT SOMEONE OTHER THAN ROBBIE FUCKING E????
• Devon beat both Robbies in a fucking handicap match???

Segment 7: Joey Ryan segment, Match 3: TV Title Match

• Yay Joey Ryan is at least back on TV
• Wow that was an awful match
• Madison’s crush is Earl Hebner isn’t it?
• “Your dick muscle is bigger than Devon” – Wrestlefan

Segment 8: Anderson/Hogan segment

• Wow….a three way for people who have all lost to Roode multiple times…awesome

Segment 9: Match 4: 6 Man Tag match

• Oh darn AJ isn’t coming out

Segment 10: Match cont.

• Anyone with the name AJ is getting #ballsdeep
• Wow Sting made Roode tap two weeks in a row…no way he’s gonna lose at Slammiversary

TNH8 Scale

Logic: 2 Laganas out of 5

Wrestling: 3.5 Laganas out of 5

Overall: 5.5 Laganas out of 10