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Mad Mike Reviews TNA: The N.W.Whatever Attacks

Jul 26, 2012

Greetings Mayhemmers, since I’m the guy who watches TNA the most as the main hosts on this show, but we never seem to talk about it (mainly because it sucks) I decided to at least use my journalistic integrity and live blog about it each week. This will be written live as I watch Impact, so enjoy!

Segment 1: Preshow snippit, recrap, Sting segment

Sting is in a pre-show snippit and he looks like Sting Noir, or a lead villain in Batman and Robin
Cute girl in the front row is going to be fixing her top all night, I’m ok with this
Oh good…this is probably what should have happened last week, I hope Garetttt and Devon don’t come out
Ha live TV, nice recovery Roode
Wow, really saying Storm is behind this? I guess that means Aries will be the champion at Bound for Glory

Segment 2: Segment about Chavo, Roode segment, Match 1: Gail and Maddy Vs. Mickie and Tara, Aries segment, Gut Check segment

Does anyone really give two shits about Chavo debuting
Wow Kid Kash, you are horrible at talking
Can someone get Wayne Arnold off my TV screen
Oh fun, Earl is the ref for a Maddy match…this could be interesting
This is also where I should say, I’m deeply saddened by Velvet departing TNA
I think Mickie got new implants…holy fuck
So now they just mention that Sting is in charge yet again…when he said he didn’t want to be in charge, awesome leadership Dixie
Hahaha awesome finish, giving Maddy the win when the camera showed Mickie popped her shoulder
This could be a good angle…though it probably means Brooke intervention so it’ll suck
Aries making cuts? Shouldn’t Dixie be the one to do this…you know, the president?
This Gut Check guy is already annoying as fuck

Segment 3: Segment about Chavo, Match 2: Gut Check match, Aries segment, Chavo package

Ew, Gunner and Hernandez
Thank you Bully Ray for being awesome
I said this last week, Sam Shaw is the Example 1 from the Create-A-Wrestler in WWE12
Yay Joey Ryan!
The lighting in this segment is completely fucked up
Why is it that all of the segments like this fucking suck? Is it because they aren’t scripted?
Wow….so that’s what they used all that Ring Ka King footage for

Segment 4: Chavo segment

So wait…all this fucking hype, and he’s not even wrestling tonight?
Hey Chavito, the only reason so many people are hungry backstage is because they don’t get a chance to be on TV
Oh Jesus, Kid Kash and Gunner…really?
“Where is your family?” That could have gotten really awkward
Especially since Hector works for TNA
WHY MUST ALL MEXICANS SIDE TOGETHER?
At least Chavo is better than MeX-Pac

Segment 5: Gut Check segment, Claire recrap, Match 3: Styles Vs. Storm

They’re trying to give young talent a chance? NO ONE HAS BEEN ON THE SHOW SINCE THEY WON
Also…Al, this show is recorded, you can go watch the tape
Claire is a rapist
At this point I feel comfortable saying TNA doesn’t pay Christy enough to buy bras

Segment 6: Match cont.

Claire is just not an attractive woman, I’d imagine AJ would have better standards
Grand Canyon University arena sounds like the most bootleg arena ever
A great match ruined by the nWo…I mean the Nexus….I mean Aces and Eights

Segment 7: Gut Check bullshit, Aries segment

Sam Shaw, don’t you dare steal Wade Barret’s taunt
God, I hate this whole concept…this is awful
Just once, I’d like to see the first two people agree
TNA Judges requirements: 1. Be a face. 2. Be bland.
Repo Man reference is the best thing on this show so far

Segment 8: Match 4: Shiima Vs. Kenny King, Bully segment

Hahahahaha Prichard didn’t know they were filming
I think Kenny just knocked something off the turnbuckle
Shiima I fucking love you
I like the genuine pleasure Taz had in seeing a Tazplex
Roode run-in?? Weird, I kinda like it
I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again, Bully need to be World Champion by the end of the year

Segment 9: Match 5: Bully Vs. Angle