Mad Mike Reviews TNA: This Show is a Sacrfice For Me

Greetings Mayhemmers, since I’m the guy who watches TNA the most as the main hosts on this show, but we never seem to talk about it (mainly because it sucks) I decided to at least use my journalistic integrity and live blog about it each week. This will be written live as I watch Impact, so enjoy!

Segment 1: Recrap (literally this time), Flair segment

• Easiest way to get me to not want to watch the rest of Impact is to tell me that Flair and Hogan are going to talk
• Flair can’t even make sense when he doesn’t yell anymore, someone get grandpa his meds
• Wow, this is awful, good vs evil, really Ric? Think the TNA fans are that dumb?
• I hate that Bischoff isn’t bleeped anymore, what the hell is the point of him not being able to use the name anymore
• I’d say they should just call him “Eric” but because they have Eric Young they can’t
• Oh Christ, ok this is such horseshit, not only did they said they had all the judges last week DURING Gut Check, now they admitted that they didn’t and are bringing in Flair
• “It’s not about us” Either Hogan just saw Iron Man 2, or this is the pathetic attempt to copy Taker/Triple H

Segment 2: Velvet and Hooters segment, Match 1: Hooters and Velvet Vs. Gail and Maddy

• Wow, Hooters should never talk
• That “Impact” shirt is the ugliest shirt I’ve ever seen
• I think Taz meant “knock down drag out”
• Wow, let’s just randomly discuss, with no graphic that we’re CHANGING TIMES!!!! I guess they fiured DVRs will pick it up anyway, me I’ll be watching Big Bang reruns
• Tenay is just lying about any sort of twitter feedback, since this was taped like 3 weeks ago
• Also what the hell did Alex Silva do to deserve a contract? He couldn’t beat ROBBIE FUCKING E
• Wow, remember when using your opponent’s finisher on them a) never worked 2) was saved for PPVs? Yeah…that just happened

Segment 3: RVD Segment

• Wow this segment is horribly cut
• “One of a Kind” nice reference to WWE there dumbass
• God this man is high
• So, RVD picks someone that hates Roode and will hurt him and Bobby picks one of RVD’s friends…good call champ

Segment 4: Match 2: Devon vs. Robbie T, Gut Check judges segment

• Those sweaters are hideous, and make no sense for his gimmick
• I’ll break down the process to examine if talent will get signed by TNA. “Did they work for WWE?” Yes. “Do people remember they worked for WWE?” Yes. “Can we slightly adjust their name enough so we don’t get sued?” Yes. “You’re hired!!! Here is your customary World Championship.”
• Shouldn’t Robbie T be really pissed that his buddy cost him a title?
• Oh fuck, it’s Brother Love
• Flair acts completely different around “corporate guys” fantastic.

Segment 5: Gut Check segment

• Flair is the only one making sense here
• “We’re not judging for now, we’re judging potential” Usually people get hired to see what they can do right now
• Ok so if Bruce and Al agree, then it doesn’t matter what Flair says because Al said they need two people…this is fucking retarded
• This should be a unanimous decision
• That was a waste of a segment

Segment 6: Anderson/Hogan segment, Match 3: RVD Vs. Jeff, Joseph Park segment

• Wow…this is awful, and now it’s even less fair to Roode
• No DQ match for the main event means RVD and Anderson should just assault Roode all they want
• Hey guys, remember when this match happened 11 years ago, and it was awesome?
• Well that match was awful
• Wow, I really thought this Joseph Park thing was gonna be something cool, I was wrong

Segment 7: Borash segment, Kaz/Daniels segment

• This segment would have made much more segment last week, especially seeing that Bischoff is off TV now, and doesn’t matter
• Wow…nice sensitivity to bullying here
• Yay it’s Aries, it’s kinda sad how badly this has gone
• “Poster child for Type 2 Diabetes” was pretty funny
• I think the thing I hate most about TNA is how they just casually dismiss when matches are announced backstage

Segment 8: Roode segment, Match 4: Angle/Kaz/Daniels Vs. AJ/Joe/Magnus

• Wow, that was genericiest of generic heel promos
• Oh excuse me, there is a graphic up about Impact’s new time…and it’s written in such faded type that it took me this long to actually see it
• I still don’t understand why a tag team is feuding with AJ, when it’s clear that AJ isn’t getting another partner to go after them

Segment 9: Gut Check bullshit, Sacrifice preview, Match 5: Roode Vs. Anderson

• “Let me introduce my fellow judges….he needs no introduction” Awful.
• The blue lighting is probably just done to give the fans a nap time
• I really hope they don’t end up giving every Gut Check person a contract
• Why is this moron dressed in his ring gear??
• The absolute LAST thing TNA needs is more talent
• Wow that is an awful “WOOOOOOOOOOO”
• This should have to be unanimous…considering it’s a fucking 3 count to win matches, then again he didn’t win last week so he wouldn’t know
• Wow, looking up to his (I’m presuming) dead father…that’s classless for someone we don’t know at all
• Maybe his dad is Sting and he is looking up to the rafters
• This is like a really awful version of Austin’s final cut of Tough Enough
• Did he say “Gut track”??
• That’s all it takes to convince Ric Flair??? Shit I could convince Flair to be an Impact superstar then
• BTW Silva, your promo sucked…I say “No.”
• Seriously, this is how they announce PPV matches??? Awful.
• THESE GUYS HAVE FOUGHT SINCE THE FUCKING BEER BOTTLE THING.

Segment 10: Match cont.

• This match was much more exciting when they were actually doing no DQ stuff
• Jesus Christ that was an awful match, and it was used to further the mid card feud and not the world title feud…brilliant booking TNA, you fucking idiots

TNH8 Scale

Logic: 1 Lagana out of 5

Wrestling 2.5 Laganas out of 5

Overall: 3.5 Laganas out of 5