Mad Mike Reviews TNA: You’ve Ruined It!!!

Greetings Mayhemmers, we are in living in a post-Slammiversary world. A world where Taryn Terrell and Gail Kim had perhaps the high point of a pay-per-view, as odd as that sounds. And oh yeah…..Sting….yadda yadda yadda…..Aces…..blah blah….let’s go!

Segment 1: Recrap, Bully segment, Churro segment

• I miss shows that started off with a match
• Mike Tenay is probably angrier at Bully than every other member of the roster
• I don’t know if Hells Kitchen is exactly God’s Country there Bubba
• Hogan looks so creepy with that glove on
• Slipped on a banana peel? HE WAS JUMPED BY EIGHT GUYS HOGAN
• God Hogan, stop with the awful cheap pops
• Hogan you clearly can’t do whatever the hell you want, if you could you could just strip Bully of the title
• A ladder match for a hammer? God this was awful when WWE did it, and now it’s even worse
• Churro should never speak ever
• Did Churro teach Hernandez to have a more successful uncle?

Segment 2: TNA Shop commercial, Match 1: BFG Qualifier Churro Vs. Hernandez, Rampage walking

• TNA Shops commercials just make me want to bang their Knockouts, not buy merch…and I didn’t need much help with the latter
• “Deals so hot, they’re cool” That doesn’t even make sense
• Churro again doesn’t speak correctly, only one of these guys gets in the BFG
• Yes Mike, because Taz was always known as a tag team wrestler
• Wow, winner via “stacks him up”? That’s awful
• Did anyone even know that Rampage was a free agent?

Segment 3: Devon segment

• For months Devon would forget his title completely, and now he wants it back so badly?
• Somehow I hope TNA can make Abyss and Joseph Park appear in the same segment

Segment 4: Hunt for Abyss segment, Match 2: BFG Qualifier Robbie E Vs. Joekozuna

• Can Knux just looks for things every episode? That’d be great
• Well that didn’t last long

Segment 5: Mickie segment, Kurt package

• Hahahahah Mickie gave Velvet a lottery ticket, that’s so amazing
• I like the subtle dig that Velvet overlooked people as champ
• Meh still don’t care about Kurt being inducted

Segment 6: Rampage segment

• Wow, his music really starts with a wolf howl?
• To be the bess, I gotta beat the bess
• ANGLE AND RAMPAGE! ANGLE AND RAMPAGE! ANGLE AND RAMPAGE!
• That last blip was sarcasm
• Mike….in a match between Angle and Rampage they are both a part of TNA now
• Hogan needs to stop booking no DQ matches for a guy with a huge stable of heels

Segment 7: Clubhouse segment, Match 3: Sabin and ATF Vs. King Super Heels

• Seriously…what is Destination X going to be then? A free Impact?
• Gunner looks like the de-evolved version of Jame Storm

Segment 8: Monster Hunters, Taryn segment, Match 4: Mickie Vs. Taeler, Monster Hunters 3

• Aces and Eights still aren’t used to buildings bigger than the Impact Zone
• Brooke just admitted she did no research into who Taryn was at all before she got hired
• Oh God, so Brooke is an awful person
• Yay for Taeler!!!
• Boo that she’s probably going to job quickly
• Ah fake injuries Mickie? Really?
• If Mickie is going to have her bra exposed, it should really not clash with her shirt
• SHADOWY ABYSS IS THE GREATEST THING TNA HAS EVER DONE
• Abyss is clearly wearing track pants.

Segment 9: Sting tweets, Match 5: Hammer time Hardy Vs. Bully

• I know what the future of Sting is….and I don’t like it at all
• So Cal Val’s leg cameo
• What’s the big deal about grabbing the hammer? You don’t win immediately, it can easily be knocked out of your hand, and wouldn’t a ladder hurt more?

Segment 10: Match cont

• But seriously, how do you win these matches? First person to use the hammer? Why not just get a new hammer?
• Wow Bully, that leap and set up to get crotched was the worst thing on this show
• Ouch. That looked like it hurt.
• Hardy looks like he tore something when trying to chase Bully
• Never seen a ladder match with a no contest before…
• Why didn’t Anderson send out some help?
• Hogan just conveniently had another hammer
• A wild Brooke Hogan appears!
• It used BAD ACTING! It’s Super Effective!

TNH8 Scale

Wrestling: 3.5 Laganas out of 5, ladder match and six man were good but nothing we haven’t seen before

Logic: 4.5 Laganas out of 5, nothing really to complain about except no build for AJ

Overall: 8 Laganas out of 10