Mad Mike Reviews Total Divas: Wedding Fever!!!

Better late than never, I’m reviewing the mid season finale of this show. Keep in mind, I just watched Impact…so I might be a tad surly.

Segment 1

• Before I get into this, I feel bad for Nattie because her cat passed away today
• Who brings a dress to someone days before the wedding using white chair covers for weddings, especially presumable a mom goes with a bride to pick out the dress
• Hahahahahahaha Vagina Rose!!
• Valets should technically do a lot more than that Eva
• Jojo just said Eva has big tits…no idea what she means
• Cool to see that Cena is so carefree about saying his brother is gay

Segment 2

• Hey Nikki maybe that’s why you shouldn’t fucking wear flip flops when you are on crutches
• Cameron….that man is your fucking boss, stop being a fucking child
• Natalya….dope wrestler
• Jojo…you have already been on TV, and you fucked it all up
• If I were Nikki I’d have gone to the wedding, you can always meet family in increments
• Jojo is being a spoiled 19 year old brat, does she forget that she was already on TV?

Segment 3

• Eva believes that a prayer about her not showing off her panties is appropriate
• If Nattie applies a sharpshooter on Brie in her wedding dress, that’d be the best reception ever
• Cameron probably just has to take a big shit

Segment 4

• God first Cameron had a UTI and a yeast infection, not she’s got more lady problems
• Eva…you and JoJo should fucking WATCH WRESTLING
• I’ve seen them “train” together once

Segment 5

• Nattie what did you expect with an outdoor wedding in Florida…it rains all the time there
• Eva…what the fuck are you wearing to a God damned wedding?!!?!
• Nattie how do you not expect Cameron to bring her plus one?
• Johnny Fabulous!!!!!
• Wow…fantastic Stewie impression by John’s gay brother
• Bryan is the only mother fucker to dress down for the wedding, I love it
• Way to dress up Jaret…I mean come on, don’t try to our D-Bry D-Bry
• Totally not bad luck for a groom to see the bride before the wedding

Segment 6

• Nattie totally brought this on herself FYI
• Sandow needs to host my eventual wedding please
• Ok Jon Uso is dressed way more casually
• Wow…Nattie is carrying her cat down the aisle…this is fucking pathetic
• I’m waiting for this minister to tear off his mask to reveal it’s Eric Bischoff
• Tyson Kidd’s new gimmick needs to be Mr. Wilson from Dennis the Menace

Segment 7

• Sandow is the perfect MC for a wedding
• Um….isn’t Brie already engaged?
• So…WWE put together a Hart Dynasty package
• Nattie you probably shouldn’t dance with that dude at your wedding
• Cena wants Nikki to move in?
• See you guys again November 17th

WAIT WAIT WAIT….THIS SHOW MUST CONTINUE!!!!

Segment 1.a

• Renee Young!!!!!! OMG this is the best show ever!!!
• I’ve driven a rental car without being able to rent one…just FYI JoJo
• Does “wrestling” mean “sex” or does it mean wrestling?
• Jaret doesn’t know how to wrestle…it definitely means sex
• Oh shit…sorry Cameron, that does really suck if it’s true
• Renee, don’t say “that being said” you are better than that
• Nikki dressed up as a sexy nurse…so that’s a thing

Segment 2.a

• Renee said the surprise guest is explosive, I immediately shouted “IT’S GOTTA BE KANE!!”
• Brie is jealous that Bryan is getting more popular
• Jurdy Uso…wave of the future
• Wow…Cena isn’t even main eventing this show, that’s weird
• “Are you going to propose?” “No.”
• #CenaBurn
• God damn Cena…that was a good speech
• So Jaret is fucking main eventing this show?

Segment 3.a

• Ha the two John/Jon’s left because they actually have things to do
• Hahahahahaaha this is the only time Nikki’s constant talking is fantastic
• Is he the ULTIMATE opportunist?? Jaret should Spear TJ and attack his injured foot

Segment 4.a

• It’s funny to watch the Bellas react to the Summerslam finish
• Nice to see Eva actually training with a ring around
• Thank you Renee Young, please be on all of the Total Divas shows